Wednesday, February 18, 2009

This terrible drone is the sound of a thousand machines

I'm watching the Brits.

Thoughts:

I now dislike the new U2 single eve more than before. Which is saying something.

I want to see more of The Hoff stalking the polka dot wearing hyena attempting to be amusing whilst barking at the award winners between segments. It's the funniest thing so far.

There are unsurprisingly few surprises.

Robbie didn't join Take That on stage, even though they were in a Dave Lee Roth cast-off spaceship.

Paul Weller didn't turn up.

Duffy keeps winning stuff.

No one's actually very funny.

I do like the way they put a little sign up to tell you when they've blanked the sound. Just in case I thought my reception was going again.

Are Kings Of Leon just a teensy weensy bit FUCKING BORING?

The set looks like a cheap Dairylea commercial.

Iron Maiden win best British Live Act. Fucking justice at last, c'mon the Irons!

Elbow win best British group, Coldplay look disappointed. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha... etc

Girls Aloud look even more pissed off when they don't win something. Keep the camera on grumpy Ashley Cole please, I want to watch him squirm.

They're very gracious when they do win something though.

Only kidding, they're not.

And their fan dance was rubbish.

Coldplay win nothing. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha etc. They do put on a good show earlier though. Still a rubbish song off their most average album yet.

Brandon Flowers is wearing roadkill. I think he's actually 12 years old.

Neil Tennent's hat is too big for him. That's probably on purpose though.

I think Lady GaGa is actually one of those 2D cut out paper dolls my sisters used to clip cut out paper clothes on to when they were young come to life.

Thank fuck it's over.

No it's not. Duffy's on the ads. Not any more, I've committed an act of personal censorship and turned the telly off.

**UPDATE**

What the hell was Kanye West talking about in his acceptance speech?

Why did BBC breakfast not mention the Maiden win?