Sunday, November 09, 2008

I feel the ocean

Iona was right, it really was the TGV.

I have a text message on my phone from a close friend I'd just spent the day with on Thursday, 48 hours after she'd been told her boyfriend of 9 years had died, also aged 38. It is full of questions that have no answers, requests that can not be fulfilled. It is a primal scream of grief, and the waves of immediate unfettered loss pour out of it.

It broke my heart.

Of all the emotions I've been through these past few weeks, it's the helplessness that's been the worst.

Listening to Shearwater's Winged Life

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